33 Kbps News
Stream
Posts
Santa Monica, CA - Living in and around West LA all of us sort of get into a groove of places that we go and places that we go...not. I wasn't sure why I had avoided the Santa Monica Pier for so long, but I had. In fact, I had not set foot on it for at least 10 years. So last Monday afternoon I took a walk. A good ole-fashioned walk on the Pier... and I sure wish I hadn't.
The most recognizable sight in Santa Monica is the famous and oft pictured sign at the entrance to the pier. Commonly thought to be the official end of historic Route 66... It isn't. Route 66 actually actually ends a block away at Santa Monica Blvd. and Ocean Ave. You can view the Will Rogers Highway Dedication Plaque at Palisades Park if you are so inclined. But lets stay on track: So I took a walk on the pier...
Reader Safety Alert: The pier itself (the Planks and the nails/spikes that hold them) are old, warped, and often in shocking disrepair. Wearing sandals should net you at least one stubbed tow before you are able to escape. As I tripped along the aging and un-maintained surface I could not help but to think about all of those brand new parking enforcement vehicles that are absolutely everywhere in Santa Monica... or the cost of the full time police patrol at 4th and San Vicente where an armed officer is paid to tell you not to stretch in the grass median (it's for walking and jogging only; duh).
Back to the pier. After opening a small wound on my left foot I kept a close eye out for those little 18" x 18" plywood patch boards that seem to be meant to close gaps between broken planks but actually result in a far greater tripping hazard than anything they might cover. Maybe they would serve a reasonable purpose if the installation technique had included using enough screws to hold them securely in place.
The first thing you might see on the pier itself is the Bubba Gump Shrimp Restaurant which I believe is legally required to be on every pier in America. Try not to think of the last time you ate at one, just think happy thoughts about Forest Gump and the late Bubba.
Once you get passed the fine dining at Bubba Gump you will be happy to find lots of fast food that is simply impossible to find anywhere else: Pizza Hut, Taco Bell, and The Coffee Bean are appetizers until you find the overpriced fried seafood joints that change their cooking grease at least once per leap year. About midway across the pier you may find yourself in need of a pit stop. You are in luck because not a dime was spared on some temporary bathrooms (pictured below).
.
The picture also provides a good example of the type of folks that have time to hang out on the pier. Please note the latest style; are they shorts that are too long or pants that are too short? They shall henceforth be called: "shants".
The main attraction is just ahead on your left. No, it's not the gimmick roller coaster or the trapeze lessons; it's the remote controlled boats! This is your chance to pay $2.00 for the opportunity to control a boat that moves very very slowly inside of a smallish bathtub/jacuzzi. The best among us are able to navigate their boat into well identified docking station that happens to be an exact replica of a normal sized miniature remote control boat dock.
As you approach the end of the pier you will see a Police/first aide station and the final eatery. After you dress your foot wounds you just might be hungry enough to view the overpriced menu at Mariasol Cocina Mexicana.
Reader Safety Alert: The pier itself (the Planks and the nails/spikes that hold them) are old, warped, and often in shocking disrepair. Wearing sandals should net you at least one stubbed tow before you are able to escape. As I tripped along the aging and un-maintained surface I could not help but to think about all of those brand new parking enforcement vehicles that are absolutely everywhere in Santa Monica... or the cost of the full time police patrol at 4th and San Vicente where an armed officer is paid to tell you not to stretch in the grass median (it's for walking and jogging only; duh).
Back to the pier. After opening a small wound on my left foot I kept a close eye out for those little 18" x 18" plywood patch boards that seem to be meant to close gaps between broken planks but actually result in a far greater tripping hazard than anything they might cover. Maybe they would serve a reasonable purpose if the installation technique had included using enough screws to hold them securely in place.
The first thing you might see on the pier itself is the Bubba Gump Shrimp Restaurant which I believe is legally required to be on every pier in America. Try not to think of the last time you ate at one, just think happy thoughts about Forest Gump and the late Bubba.
Once you get passed the fine dining at Bubba Gump you will be happy to find lots of fast food that is simply impossible to find anywhere else: Pizza Hut, Taco Bell, and The Coffee Bean are appetizers until you find the overpriced fried seafood joints that change their cooking grease at least once per leap year. About midway across the pier you may find yourself in need of a pit stop. You are in luck because not a dime was spared on some temporary bathrooms (pictured below).
.
The picture also provides a good example of the type of folks that have time to hang out on the pier. Please note the latest style; are they shorts that are too long or pants that are too short? They shall henceforth be called: "shants".
The main attraction is just ahead on your left. No, it's not the gimmick roller coaster or the trapeze lessons; it's the remote controlled boats! This is your chance to pay $2.00 for the opportunity to control a boat that moves very very slowly inside of a smallish bathtub/jacuzzi. The best among us are able to navigate their boat into well identified docking station that happens to be an exact replica of a normal sized miniature remote control boat dock.
As you approach the end of the pier you will see a Police/first aide station and the final eatery. After you dress your foot wounds you just might be hungry enough to view the overpriced menu at Mariasol Cocina Mexicana.
It seems you have reached the end, but if you're lucky, you will go about 10 steps too far and find yourself having a look at the local anglers and the days 'take'. This is where another Pier rule sets in: If you walk to the end of any pier in America you will see a skate fish that has been caught and is slowly suffocating and bleeding out through its chopped off tail. Here is a photo of the one that graced the pier for me and the fine 'shant' wearing gentleman who caught it...
When you catch your skate here is a youtube video showing you how to clean and prepare the fish for cooking.
When you catch your skate here is a youtube video showing you how to clean and prepare the fish for cooking.
So why would anyone ever set foot on the Santa Monica Pier?
Well it wasn't clear at all, not until I saw one final thing that reminded me what all piers are meant to be. The pier is, in all her glory, just a place to sit with the one you love - it just might be the one you chose to grow old with and to watch one more sunset.
If you still insist on going, I wont stop you (I just don't have the time). So here is some info that may help you navigate through the fray:
Official web site — directory with links to the arcade, the aquarium, and history
Pacific Park — information about the rides, attractions, and food court on the pier
Twilight Dance Series — free concerts that run on the pier from June - September
Santa Monica "Drive-In" at the pier — free films at the pier in Aug. - September
Taste of Santa Monica — September 14th (THIS SUNDAY) event featuring Santa Monica restaurants. This year: $40.00 - to stuff your face for 4 hours. Take a look and take your own first aid kit. Cheers.
No comments:
Post a Comment