Blake Griffin Hires Agent; Declares For NBA Draft

Scouts Believe The First Year Power Forward Could Be A Top 5 Selection

Griffin Was Invited To Several NBA Sanctioned Events

Los Angeles (CHN) - Vinny Del Negro could only smile and shrug his shoulders Thursday morning after his star, 6' 10" Blake Griffin, officially announced that he would forgo his remaining contract and enter the 2011 NBA Draft.

"I think he's ready," said Del Negro who helped recruit the youngster from Oklahoma. "We have had NBA talent come through this franchise from time to time in the past but Blake is a cut above; I really think he can be successful at the next level," boasted Del Negro.

Griffin, who averaged a double double for the Clippers, says he's up for the challenge. "I'm excited, I mean, what can I say... everyone who has ever played for the Los Angeles Clippers has dreamed of playing in the NBA. For me, it's really happening - I am just going to go through the process and see where it takes me".

Scouts took notice of Griffin uncanny athleticism, size, and dunking ability; all unusual attributes for a Clipper Player of any age.

But critics remain. "We've seen it before," said former NBA Coach and 1992 Dream Team star Larry Bird. Bird continued, "Danny Manning, Bo Kimble, Michael Olowokandi... These guys all tried to jump from the Clippers to the NBA and it just never seems to happen. I would tell this Griffin kid to stay in school or go back to school and finish his contract; He may be the most talented Clipper of all time; but lets be realistic, this is the NBA".

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2011. Christian Laettner Was Not Mentioned In This Story

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Santa Clarita Student Turns 22 Despite Slow Economy

Changing Birth Certificate and Notifying Friends Just Too Difficult

Santa Clarita, CA (via CHN) - Twenty-one year old Arielle Korn had a difficult choice to make this past week as her 22nd birthday approached, have her regularly scheduled birthday or postpone it for 6 months to a year until the economy turned around.

"Its primarily about the gifts," said a disgruntled Korn. "Ive been monitoring GDP pretty closely and I suspect that investment on birthday gifts for me will be down 6-8% year over year," she added.

Korn, who believes that the July jobs report came at the worst moment possible has been carefully monitoring her friends spending habits on Facebook and determined that she will likely get 14 confirmations, 8 no shows, and 277 maybes for her upcoming birthday dinner at The Claim Jumper. "People realize that I want to eat for free; with White House Economic Adviser Christina Romer resigning yesterday... well, lets just say that is not the sort of birthday spending confidence that you need going into my birthday dinner," says Korn.

Ms. Korn ran a cost analysis benefit equation of changing her birthday to January 15th but the uncertainties of a double dip recession has Oppenheimer Fund Manager Skip Froberg nervous. "The idea that corporate profits alone can carry us into an increase in consumer birthday spending confidence isn't supported with the data," revealed Froberg. "Until we get 2-3 solid job reports in a row, birthday spending for Kamikaze shots and custom cakes with clever genitalia frosting designs are going to be depressed for another 2-3 quarters at minimum," concluded Froberg.

Korn's mother indicated via email that changing her birthday would create confusion among relatives and could result in a clusterfuck of missed payouts from Grandma Bata. My best advice, sayed Korn's mom - "Find a sugar daddy, even if it's just a one nighter... have you met Seth Champi?"

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In The Now

Please take a good look Mr. President....

Or as they say in Hawaii - extend a warm and firm Mahalo.....

(We interrupt regular our regular LA broadcast to bring you the latest from the G8 Conference in Italy.....)

Courtesy of The Comedy Hub (CHN):

Barack Obama Was Caught Checking Out Booty Today....

Likewise for French buddy Nicolas Sarkozy...

L'Aquila, Italy- Seems like they both had time to take a good look. Maybe they are not used to seeing curly hair... on a 16 YEAR OLD BRAZILIAN GIRL??



But none of this was all that bad until a reporter at The Associated Press did a blow up of the pic (below) and found that Barack was indeed contemplating a second stimulus package...





Although the moment passed quickly, the pair were about to get an opportunity to discuss their day....



The two were in deep conversation the next day discussing how they both had learned their respective lessons; but Holy Cow; that's just not fair...




But(t), American's still have no choice to concede that this guy would have been no better.....

Join the Facebook Group: "I too would have looked at this 16 year old Brazilian's Ass" click here:
http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=127502020490

Don't worry he's not a pedophile

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