Wednesday, August 20, 2008

LA Angels of Anaheim Eyeing new name for 2009

by: Mike Briano, 6:35 PM PST
Plastico Sports Editor


Unsupported rumors have been swirling for months and now the news has finally gained substantiation that the LA Angels will likely change their name prior to the 2009 season. Disgruntled former first baseman Casey Kotchman disclosed the details to an Atlanta Constitution reporter this Tuesday.

The Angels have represented many geographic areas since their 1961 debut as the "Los Angeles Angels". In 1965 the Angels decided to represent the entire State of California and did so until Disney took control in 1997. Disney, desperate to break ground on a new city called "Anaheim", used the nickname "Anaheim Angels" to draw media attention to Orange County which would not gain national attention until the debut of "The Real Housewives of Orange County" nearly 10 years later.

The real change came in 2005 when owner Art Moreno, a wealthy marketing guru, was able to parlay the old Anaheim Angels name into the "Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim". This is the first known dual city team in any sport throughout human history; this is likely because it is impossible to represent two home cities unless your team is run by a marketing whore.

Moreno's newest scheme is far more ambitious. It is now confirmed that on opening day 2009 the Angels will take the field as the Brooklyn Angels of Los Angeles, making them the first bi-coastal sports team to ever take the diamond. An anonymous source within the Angels front office offered the following comment:
"Brooklyn has been clamoring for a baseball team since the Dodgers broke their heart in 1957; it's time that someone reaches out to them and their increasingly wealthy fan base; we have proven that we need no physical presence in a city whatsoever to draw on its rich baseball viewing resources"

In other team notes the Angels have retired the number of Orel Hershiser despite his never pitching an inning for the club; additionally they have named Sandy Koufax their favorite Jew baseball player of the 20th century.


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Why do we live in LA....

The annual Manhattan Beach 6-Man Volleyball Tournament may be enough reason in itself to live in Southern California. If you have not been... please stay away. It's getting a bit crowded and unless you are a smoking hot 18 year old chick - we just wont need you out there anyway. But you are welcome to enjoy these YouTube vid's so that you can see why some of us dredge through town the other 51 weeks of the year.



This is proof we did the same thing back in 2007:



Are Mexican's the worlds worst athletes?

One ritual here at The Plastico is that after the gymnastics are complete (a bit more than halfway through the games) we like to gather around and see what type of racial epithets we can author in regard to what has occurred so far at the Olympics. We will never forget the disappointing performance of the Soviets in 1918 or Somalia's near monopoly on last place over the past 150 years (Somali's are extremely un-athletic).

So this year we have identified a clear laggard: Mexico (a country made up mostly of Mexicans). Before we get started lets remember that rich countries have no advantage over poor countries at the Olympics. This is because rich countries have people that go to work every day while poor countries are loaded with slender people that have little else to do but train for the Olympics.

Now, back to those Mexicans. Mexico is the worlds 11th most populous country and has the worlds 12th highest GDP. They also have lots of folks with free time to train or play sports because the unemployment is somewhat high. It's also a warm weather country; at least Cancun seems pretty warm. So really no excuse not to break the top15 medal count every four years.

So - How they doin so far in the games?
As of Aug 20th the US had 82 medals with China literally "nipping" away at their heels with 80. A quick look through the top 10 and no Mexico... Romania is 10th with 18 medals. Certainly Mexico should be somewhere between 10 and 20. They are not. But you will find Slovakia and Kenya. A scan of countries in the Top 30 uncovers countries that may not even exist anymore such as Kazakhstan and Azerbaijan. From here it just gets ugly... Georgia (The only U.S. state that has independantly entered the games) is 27th... Kyrgyzstan which we know can't be a real place had 2 medals and were 55th in the standings.

Mexico, the shame of world was sitting tied for last with Afghanistan at 71st position with just one bronze medal in Women's Synchronised 10m Platform; which is a race to build scaffoldings at construction sites. So why so slow Mexico? Well, The Plastico has the answer.

After a long investigation it appears that the majority of Mexicans who are capable of moderate athletic achievement have run, swam, pole vaulted, and pommel horsed their way into the US of A. The only folks left on the Mexican Olympic team are - well, nobody.

But wait, just as The Plastico was ready to print this article - Mexico has in fact struck gold. Just moments ago PEREZ Guillermo (who might be a Brazilian pretending to be Mexican) won the Taekwondo 58Kg weight class and gave new hope to a country supported by Applebee's busboys. While we have no idea what 58kg means, we do know that Taekwondo is an actual sport. This Gold Medal performance has vaulted Mexico into 42nd position - soundly ahead of tiny Bahrain in 43rd position. So, now we turn our collective eyes to: Tajikistan. What's wrong Tajikistan... why just one medal???


Today from the Register....

Employer to illegal immigrants: use eHarmony to find U.S. spouses

August 20th, 2008, 5:51 pm · posted by Erin Carlyle

Word just came in that a former couple from Lake Forest was indicted in Santa Ana today for knowingly hiring and harboring illegal immigrants. If convicted, the pair could face more than 15 years in prison, according to U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE).

The former couple apparently hired people here illegally and suggested they find spouses through Eharmony, the online dating Web site, or Leisure World, the retirement community in Seal Beach, an ICE report stated.

Marriage to a U.S. citizen could provide them with legal status.

Wilfredo Ngo, 51, and his ex-wife Teresa Ngo, 49, were indicted on four counts: inducing aliens to reside in the United States; knowingly employing illegal aliens; knowingly harboring illegal aliens; and counseling persons to engage in marriage fraud.

The Ngos own A-Plus Senior Planning Services, Inc., a Lake Forest employment agency that provides caregivers to Orange County private homes and elder care facilities.

Their office manager, 43-year-old Gicela Sarabia, was also indicted today on two counts: inducing aliens to reside in the United States and knowingly hiring illegal aliens. Sarabia is from the Philippines and also in the country illegally, ICE reported. MORE

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Christina Applegate Cuts Off Her Tits

1NEW YORK (AP) - Christina Applegate is taking the long view of her battle with breast cancer—the really long view.

Speaking on ABC News' "Good Morning America" in her first interview since announcing her diagnosis earlier this month, the "Samantha Who?" star said she had a double mastectomy three weeks ago. She'll undergo reconstructive surgery over the next eight months.

"I'm going to have cute boobs 'til I'm 90, so there's that," she joked in the interview, which aired Tuesday. "I'll have the best boobs in the nursing home. I'll be the envy of all the ladies around the bridge table."

The 36-year-old actress elected to remove both breasts even though the disease was contained in one breast. She said she is now cancer-free. MORE

Sunday, August 17, 2008

The 405 Just Got Slightly Faster

Foreign airlines cutting flights to Los Angeles International Airport

Inbound
Ricardo DeAratanha / Los Angeles Times
Flights are posted this month at LAX, which is slated to lose at least 15 long-haul flights this fall. Fliers may face higher fares and crowded planes.
The reductions would add to troubles for the local economy and fliers.
By Peter Pae and Dan Weikel, Los Angeles Times Staff Writers
August 18, 2008
Los Angeles International Airport, battered by financially devastated domestic airlines, is now headed for trouble from overseas.

Foreign carriers, until now a bright spot for the airport in an increasingly dismal year, are slashing flights at LAX amid high fuel costs and slowing international demand, dealing yet another blow to Southern California's economy.

For Southern California passengers, the cuts would add to travel woes including fewer nonstop flights to overseas destinations, higher fares and crowded planes, experts said.

"It's kind of sad," said Bob Covington, a Mid-Wilshire district resident who often flies out of LAX for trips overseas because of his job as an event manager for photo agency Getty Images. "I'm learning to live with less and pay more."
MORE


Metro Sales-Tax Shell Game (LA Weekly)

A $40 billion promise fuels suspicion of an agency that has lied large before

By Max Taves, LA Weekly

Wednesday, August 13, 2008 - 5:59 pm

THE STATED MISSION of the L.A. Bus Riders Union is to promote the “needs of low-income people” and make sure that oppressed people “be given priority since they suffer systematic racial and national oppression in our society.”

It’s not every day that the lefty bus advocates find themselves on the same side of the political fence as leaders of the Sherman Oaks Homeowners Association — where a political unknown named Howard Jarvis first shopped his California tax revolt.

But that’s exactly what has happened.

With emerging numbers now showing that the Westside will get far more transit investment per capita, heavily subsidized by pissed-off taxpayers in the San Fernando Valley, and with the Bus Riders Union furious over the heavy emphasis on rail at the expense of bus lines, a proposed half-cent local sales-tax hike is creating really strange new bedfellows — united by their suspicion of Metro.

If the sales tax is approved this month for placement on the November ballot by the state Legislature and Arnold Schwarzenegger — and that question is up in the air as chaos unfolds over the budget in Sacramento — and if voters approve it this fall, the new sales tax would raise $40 billion over 30 years.

Most of the grandest projects would serve the Westside and South Los Angeles: $1 billion to build the Expo light-rail line from downtown to Santa Monica; $235 million for the vaguely defined Crenshaw Transit Corridor; nearly $1 billion to partially build a Subway to the Sea.

But, in fact, all dollar figures are strictly preliminary. If Metro’s history is any guide, costs will skyrocket almost from the moment the money flows, and Metro will eliminate many improvements that its leaders, including Mayor Antonio Villaraigosa and Los Angeles County Supervisor Zev Yaroslavsky, are now promising to voters.

“There’s a specific mention of how much money is going to go toward the Subway to the Sea and how much is going to go toward an LAX extension” of the Green Line, says Manuel Criollo of the Bus Riders Union. “There’s no concrete numbers [for buses]. We don’t know how many buses they’re going to buy. The reason they wrote it in such a vague manner is so that they can change it.”

The Valley’s history of getting shortchanged is also coloring its leaders’ suspicions — again. Until this spring, Ron Kaye was editor of the Valley-based Daily News, who often focused his editorials on a downtown-centric City Hall that chronically drains the outlying areas to spend the money elsewhere.

The last time Valley residents backed a similar sales-tax increase, in fact, City Hall politicians promised sweeping transit fixes for the Valley. Instead, Kaye says, “At the Daily News, there was a tabulation that the Valley had paid $2 billion to $3 billion [toward local transit projects] and had gotten a $300 million busway” for its troubles. That busway, the Orange Line, is already groaning at full capacity.

This time around, the Metro has made it virtually impossible to calculate whether the Valley’s money will again be diverted elsewhere. The regional transit authority tracks total spending by seven big areas, lumping all of Los Angeles — including the Valley — into “City of Los Angeles.”

Many Valley community leaders suspect that it’s déjà vu all over again. “They promise the Valley great transit lines, and then they build them in other areas,” says Richard Close, president of the Sherman Oaks Homeowners Association and a former leader of the Valley secession movement. “Unless you have a Valley government, we get nothing. We get crumbs. This is just another indication of it.”

No, it’s not, says Richard Katz. The Villaraigosa appointee on the Metro board and a former state legislator, Katz points to expensive proposed projects that benefit the Valley and disgruntled peripheries: $100 million for Rapidways in the Valley; $735 million to extend the Gold Line to Claremont; and millions for an extremely unformed plan to "improve" the 405 in the Sepulveda Pass.

“The voters understand that if you live in Palmdale and you fix the 405, it will benefit you,” Katz says. “I think people get the need for a regional system.”

According to Metro (formerly MTA), 73 percent of November voters favor the tax after being fed selective information. But the poll was taken while gas prices were rapidly spiking, which is no longer the case.

The tax measure’s language offers voters vague pleasantries. It’s called “Traffic Relief. Rail Extensions. Reduce Foreign Oil Dependence.” It promises to “repair potholes,” “synchronize traffic signals” and keep fares low for students, the elderly and the disabled.

“Ironically, this is more honest than measures in the past,” Close says. “It doesn’t even promise us that much. But honesty will ultimately lead to a strong ‘no’ vote.”

Report: 84% of Meter Maids were abused by Meter Maids as Children

by: Julia Ostrem 3:55pm EST
Plastico Beat Editor


The long term affects of child abuse have been debated for years with experts still unsure of how certain trauma will affect adolescents as they enter adulthood. Radio Host Dr. Drew is convinced that abusive behavior, both verbal and physical, during developmental years can create permanent long term affects. "Most often we see a cycle occur where the victims of abuse become predators of the same type of abuse later in life" argues Drew.

One segment of abuse that has remained in the shadows for years is the financial abuse upon middle and lower income families by traffic cops and meter maids. "We have never had so many traffic cops in the history or our city" said longtime LA resident Arielle Sanchez. "By my count roughly 1 out of every 7 cars on the road are involved in parking enforcement" she added.

Experts agree that a scourge of meter maids has settled in to many large U.S. cities causing havoc, hate, and financial hardship for families already stricken by a tough economy. "Our seminal fear appears to have been realized" reports Doug Hastings of the Parking Abuse Institute. "We see a staggering trend of abused vehicle owners simply giving up and becoming traffic cops.... the cycle of abuse is snowballing and by 2018 a full 65% of all U.S. workers will be traffic cops.

"Clearly no human with any sense of dignity, ethics, or faith in humanity would ever take a job as an agent of parking enforcement. The process requires an individual to be beaten into submission by a long trend of systemic abuse; people reach a breaking point and just give up on themselves and others... all that is left is hate" admits Mr. Hastings.

Other data from the report reveals that 72% of parking enforcement officials are registered as Nazi's, 82% hit their dogs regularly, and 98% engage in sadistic genital mutilation to their own bodies.

"The genital mutilation is the only positive finding; perhaps many of them will be unable to reproduce and we will stem the tide before human civilization is simply lost forever" concluded Hastings.

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